Amanda – Bitch!
“Are you sure you’re allowed to wear heels?” says Mum giving me piercing look.
Shit! Bec and Mich are already out of the car and I’ve got one foot out the door – I was sure we’d got away with it. Mum has a special sense that can smell a lie from the next suburb away. Deep breathes Amanda. Stay clam. Focus.
“Yeah. We’re in Year 9 now.”
“Okay.” she says looking at me doubtfully. “Well, have nice day. And don’t be late home.”
“I know it’s karate tonight. I won’t be late.”
We all wave her goodbye from the curb.
“Whew. I can breath again. Like, I was sure your mum had us totally busted.” says Bec. “I don’t know how you talked me into this.”
“Because we look awesome.” replies Mich.
“Yeah. We do, don’t we.” I say giving them both a big grin. We all look at each other, give a little squeal and have a group hug.
“Kelly Bitch Face will do a her nut when she sees us.” says Mish.
“Her head will, like, explode.” says Bec.
“Serves her right.” I say tossing my hair back. “Right ladies. Let’s do this.”
Back straight, head high, shoulders back, knees straight, walk a straight line – just like they did in the How to walk like a supermodel video.
Making a grand entrance at the main door, we stride down the hall like it was a catwalk, showing our new custom ‘made to fit’ dresses that are tightly hugging our every curve. Everyone stops and looks; all eyes on us; the boys – lustful; the girls – jealous. Those with their phones out are our paparazzi. We are goddess’, oblivious to it all as we glide towards our …
We stop and turn towards the source of the bellow behind us.
“WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?” yells Old Four Eyes who must have come out of her office to see what all the commotion was about. Her face is bright red and while it’s still too far away to see as she walks towards us, but I bet the vein on the side of forehead is doing double time.
I’m really not sure how to respond. I look down at myself, then look back up. I glance at Bec and Mich standing either side of me and they appear equally baffled.
“On your feet girl!” she says now standing in front of me.
I look down and up again.
The vein on her forehead is going to pop this time for sure.
“They’re heals! School regulations clearly state that flat soled shoes are to be worn at all times. Don’t let me see you wearing those again.”
Well, that was easier than I expected. The hall is now deserted as everyone has gone to class and we hurry to join them.
At the junction Mich and I head one way and Bec the other.
“Where are you going?” I say.
“To change my shoes. You heard Four Eyes. They’re not allowed.”
“No. She said not to let her see them. We just need to keep out of her way.”
“I don’t know Am. We’ll get in trouble.”
“What are you girls doing here?” says Miss Briggs coming around the corner.
“Just on our way to class Miss” I say.
She looks me up and down.
“Are you allowed to wear those heals?”
“The Principal knows Miss.”
“Really?” she says doubtfully. “Alright. Well, get to class. You’re late.”
We watch her walk away.
“See I told you. We’ll be fine.” I say to Bec.
Three ‘The Principal knows’ and a ‘Just on our way to change them’ later we are at PE class. We deliberately hang back in the change rooms so that while all the other girls are down to their Bonds Cottontails we are just taking off our dresses to reveal our secret weapons – we’ve upgraded to La Perla.
We’re all wearing matching lacy bras and skimpy g-string knickers. Mich is in ivory to contrast her dark Asian skin, Bec is in black to match her long brunette hair and I’m in fire engine red. There are some gasps and murmurers around the room as the girls notice our lingerie, but no one says anything.
I quickly change into my gorgeous new lululemon sports bra and shorts – they look so cute. Twisting my long blonde locks into a topknot, I head out to the hall to meet Jordan for the next part of my plan. This is going to be unreal.
“Miss, we have notes.” I say getting Miss Georgiou’s attention.
She takes them from us to read.
“Which competition is this for?” she says.
“State finals Miss.”
“And you really need to do this extra training?”
“Yes, Miss.” I say while Jordan nods. He doesn’t like to tell an outright lie.
While it’s true the finals are coming up, we’re not planning on doing any real training today. More like just showing off.
“Well, alright. But no mucking about, I’ll be watching.” she says pointing her finger at us.
The rest of the class divides up to play mixed volley ball, which is everyone’s favourite as it tends to become ‘pass the ball to someone you like’. There’s a lot of hooking up after mixed volley ball.
Jordan and I go to the alcove at the side of the hall that has been set up with some boxing equipment. We start with the kick bag. Jordan holds it still while I line it up for a high leg kick.
“What do you call that? I said to kick it, not date it.” he says.
I know he is just winding me up as motivation, but I feel my muscles tense in response anyway.
“You can do better than that.”
I don’t need to turn around to know that the whole class has been watching.
After that we move on to the speed balls. Jordan gets a crate for me to stand on so that I can reach mine. He’s good like that. We start with one arm, then the other, then alternating. I can feel the sweat running down my back. My muscles must look super ripped.
We are doing one arm push ups when Miss Georgiou blows her whistle.
“Good work everyone. Get changed.”
I meet up with Bec and Mich and we head into the showers. The water feels so nice; I must be so stinky.
But when I get out my things are gone. Towel, clothes, bag – the lot. Bec offers me her towel, but I wave it away. What’s she suppose to use? And from the glances and barely suppressed smirks from Kelly’s gang, it’s not hard to work out what has happened.
“I know it was you Kel. Where’s my stuff.” I say marching naked over to the other end of the change room leaving a trail of water dripping off me.
“I didn’t touch your slutty things.” she says looking down her nose at me.
“Of course not. You would’ve got one of your skanks to do it for you.”
“You shouldn’t be calling people names.” says Tanya smugly.
“I know it’s you and Gretchen Wieners that have been spreading all those rumours about me.” I say looking at at Kelly while gesturing at Tanya.
“Ah ha!” says Megan. “You think you know all the girls, but it’s Gretchen Winters. She’s a friend of my sister.”
Everyone just stares at Megan in disbelief. There are some giggles as it’s clear that Megan has not seen Mean Girls, which is like the greatest movie. Ever.
“Well, we know who Karen Smith is.” says Bec.
“Karen Smith doesn’t go to this school.” says Megan looking puzzled.
“Shut up Megan.” says Kelly though gritted teeth.
“That is so fetch.” says Mich.
“Huh?” says Megan.
“Oh. It’s, like, slang. From England” says Mich and everyone snickers.
“What?” says Megan.
“You go Glenn Coco!” says someone behind me and everyone laughs.
“Megan! Shut up!” says Kelly frowning while glaring at Tanya who has her hand to her mouth, desperately trying to suppress her laughter.
“How much did it hurt when you fell from the top of the whore tree and banged every boy on the way down?” says Kelly rounding on me.
“Don’t worry Kel. I saved some for you.” I say.
“There must be a boy somewhere who will stamp your V card.” says Bec.
“Must be one. Somewhere.” says Mich shaking her head.
“That’s rich. You don’t even have your pubs yet” says Kelly shaking her head at me.
“It’s a Brazilian you dozy cow!” I say.
“Oh. Like the porn stars? That makes sense.” says Kelly.
I take a step forward and Kelly backs into the wall. She slips down it a little and I stand on tip toes so that our faces are level. And really close.
She looks nervously to each side of her. I can see the fear in her eyes.
“You touch my stuff again and I will mess up your face.” I say quietly but firmly.
Her eyes go really wide as she stares back at me. She swallows.
“Amanda! What is going on? Put your clothes on.” says Miss Georgiou.
I take a step back and turn around.
“I would miss, but my things seem to have disappeared.” I say.
“Give Amanda her things back.”
“I’ll count to three, then you’re all on detention. One, two, …”
“Is this it Miss?” says Tanya pointing at my bag that has suddenly appeared from where it had been hidden.
I hold my hand out towards Tanya, but otherwise don’t make a move so that she has to bring it to me.
“Right. Stop mucking about and get changed.” says Miss Georgiou. “And you two. Get to the office.”
“But Miss. She started it.” Kelly and I both say together.
She holds up her hand.
“Tell it to the Principal.”
“What has gotten into you two?” says Mrs Richards as Kelly and I stand in front of her desk while she reprimands us.
At least I remembered to wear my sports shoes and left the heels in my locker.
“Kelly. Did you call Amanda a slut and a whore?”
Kelly just looks around the room and avoids eye contact.
“We have talked about this before and if you don’t change your ways I will have to write to your parents.”
Kelly just rolls her eyes.
“Amanda. Is that what they teach you at karate? To threaten people with physical violence?”
“I was only going to smug her makeup a little Miss.” I say.
Yeah, with my fist.
“We have a zero tolerance policy to bullying and harassment here. Both of you will be in serious trouble if you continue on this path. Now shake hands and apologise to each other.”
“But Miss.” we both say.
“Or if you prefer, you can both have detention until you do.”
We have the worlds briefest handshake while mumbling something that could have been an apology.
“I don’t want hear any more about this. Now get back to class.”
We walk away from the office together.
“Slut.” mutters Kelly.
“Bitch.” I mutter back.
This is so not over.
Mich looks up from her phone as we walk into school.
“Nat says that Kelly made Megan watch Mean Girls – twice. Then asked her questions, like an exam or something.” she says excitedly.
“Bet she knows who Karen Smith is now.” I say.
“Yeah, her.” says Mich.
“Are you sure this is okay Am?” says Bec looking worried as we get to the main entrance.
“Four Eyes said not to wear heels.” says Mich. “These are wedges. That’s, like, totally different.”
“Totally.” I say.
Bec just looks doubtful.
Then we hear it. The unmistakable sound of heels clacking. Looking down the hall, Kelly and her gang are walking away from us. They’re all wearing heels.
“That didn’t take long to catch on.” says Mich.
Just then Mrs Richards comes out of her office. She has her back to us.
“KELLY BISCHOF!” she bellows down the hall.
Kelly stops and turns around.
“WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?”
“Uniform Miss?” says Kelly looking confused.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” I say quietly to Bec and Mich.
We head the other way down the side hall to class.
All people, places and events depicted are real, just not in this universe.
© Paul Shipley